Movies. Video Games.
Television. Music. Why not Life?
Hollywood is forced to
admit that bad language, adult content, violence, and drug abuse is not
appropriate “mind food” for teens. Music warns parents that lyrics may not be
appropriate for growing brains. Parents are strongly cautioned against allowing
their minor children to watch TV shows. And Video game designers warn that
games are “too mature” for children under 17.
Life – PG18. Daily doses
of “bad” language, sexual content, bullying, ungodly and/or unbiblical ideology
require parental guidance until at least the age of 18.
Somehow, we have created
an American Myth which says that small children need their parents and teens
need their peers. I would like to interject a PG13 phrase here. TEENS
NEED PARENTS.
Number One Reason Homeschool Debaters develop lifelong love of the Lord and youth group students don't is ... PARENTAL GUIDANCE
Most all homeschool
debate teams require parents to be a part of the team. They run tournaments,
judge, coach, drive students around the state. And that's not including all of
the dinner and car discussions kids get into with their parents about how to
solve world hunger, or how America can reform it's justice system. They may not
be talking about "Jesus" or the "Bible," but there are
important elements in these conversations which lead kids into a deeper faith
in Christ. Kids see first hand how their parents live their lives for Christ.
The more time kids spend with their parents the more likely they are to accept
their values and lifestyle. And they are setting up an environment of
communication in which faith can be passed along through words.
When my grown kids were
still too young to watch PG13 movies, I took a group of students to a Church
conference. It got out super late and we still had a couple of hours drive
home. I drove each student home, well after midnight. I waited in front of the
house as each student pulled their house key out of their purse and quietly
snuck into their home in order to not disturb their family. And then, something
happened which etched an impression on my mind that I will never forget. Around
2:00 am I pulled up to a student’s home and the lights were all on. Her mom ran
outside to hug and greet her daughter on her return.
The mother said, “Honey,
There’s hot coco and cookies on the table. I’ll be there in a minute to talk.”
She turned to me,
“Thanks for taking her.”
“I’m surprised you’re
up.”
She replied, “You have
to be there at the moment of excitement to hear all about it. I figure if I
stay up half the night just to listen to my daughter, she’ll realize how
important I think she is and how important serving the Lord is.”
As I drove away, I vowed
to God that I would be that type of parent for my teenagers. And as a
side note, that girl is now in her 30s and is still serving the Lord
passionately.
Along with spending time
to show and tell kids about daily life with Christ, parents need to set proper
priorities. With our mouths we say, “God is first” but is that what we really
think and act upon?
The
Barna Group conducted a survey entitled, “Parents Describe How they
Raise Their Children.” They asked parents what they wanted most for
their kids. Christian parents answered “a good education.” In fact, less than
half as many Christian parents said that having a relationship with Christ was
more important than an education. Indirectly, as well as directly, Christian
parents are prioritizing education as a means of succeeding in this life over
living for Christ as a means to succeed eternally.This is scary. Parents need
change their own mindsets and priorities. Every youth minister knows the
reality of this when students constantly miss Bible study for homework
assignments. As parents, what we say is not always what we are acting out
priority-wise.
So what can the church
learn from homeschool debate?
Parents must be
involved in their students life. As a church we need to stop isolating them
from each other. Here's a few ideas on how to get students and parents
interacting:
1) Parenting Classes -
This is just the tip of the iceburg. Reading a box about how to change a diaper
is not the same thing as changing one - but it's a start. Our society teaches
parents to be scared of teens - if we can educate parents of 5th and 6th
graders of the joys to come - we are setting the stage for joyful parent-teen
relationship through Jr. High and Highschool. We can also train parents how
make Christ number one priority and how to pass that along to their kids.
2) Family Life Group -
Instead of age-grouping everyone, why not have a Life Group/Small Group for
families? I visited a Family Bible study with a friend who attends a
"family church." It was exciting to see the teens talking freely
about the Bible with their peers and their parents. My friends told me that
just watching the other parents interact with their teens had helped their
family communicate better. The students where comfortable with the adults in
the room as well as patient with younger siblings.
3) Quarterly Parent
Teen Activities - parties, camp outs, family against family competitions,
anything to get the parents and teens interacting and having fun together
builds relationships. The students who come without a parent can be attached to
a family.
4) Encourage families
to sit together in worship instead of teens sitting with their peers. Encourage
them to discuss the sermon over Sunday lunch.
If the church is going
to survive the 21st Century - we must keep our children from leaving when they
graduate. This will only happen when we have committed parents spending time
with their teens. Our church can not loose sight to the importance parents have
on their kids and must make building family relations a top goal of youth
ministry.
Children
should come with a warning label:
Caution:
this child takes significant amounts of time and energy. Adult supervision is
required. Life is PG18.
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