Unquenchable Stomach

I never post about food, or weight, or health or stuff like that. But there’s a first time for everything. I’m posting as a sort of accountability for myself.

"...there was a little left at the very bottom of the jar,
and he pushed his head right in..."

The Bible says, “Whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.” I Cor 10:31

The Holy Spirit has convicted me that eating is an area of my life which I have not allowed God to take control of.

"'Tiggers don't like Honey'

Confessions time:

I eat when I am stressed – which has been a lot lately.

I eat out of “peer pressure” or “socially” – which means I am letting others and not God have control of my eating patterns.

I reward myself with unhealthy food, saying, “Let’s get a treat.”

I eat late at night when I am alone.

I eat at fast food restaurants multiple times a week because I am always on the road. 

These thoughts are temptations which I often give in to and I believe Satan has used them to sap me of some of my ability to glorify God.

I am often tired and lack energy.

I have stomach issues and headaches almost daily.

I don’t have the strength to run around and play with Kymee as I want to.

I’m going to take God at His word and choose to receive His promise,

“Let him who thinks he stands take heed that he does not fall. No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, so that you will be able to endure it.” I Cor. 12 - 13

"...Christopher Robin finished the mouthful he was eating
and said carelessly: "I saw a Heffalump to-day, Piglet."

So my goals for this week are this:

Eat what God has made and not what man has made (eat clean)

Replace white food with healthier options

NO fast food – be prepared to eat healthy food in the car

Precook and prepare so that I can provide delicious, simple, fast-cooking meals and snacks for my family.

Enjoy the meals and snacks God has given me to prepare.

"As soon as he got home, he went to the larder; and he stood on a
chair, and took down a very large jar of honey from the top shelf."

Today’s my shopping day. I’m going to Sprouts. Little more expensive than Trader Joes – but closer so I save on gas.

Here’s my meal plans for the week (they aren’t by day, so we can eat what sounds good daily)

Breakfasts

1. Eggs baked in Avacado halves & Toast

2. Green Slushy

3. Chicken fajita scrambled eggs

4. PB & Jelly sandwich w/ fresh carrot & orange juice

5. Oatmeal w/coconut milk, raisins & cinnamon

6. Fried (in coconut oil) cooked sweet potatoes, bananas & pecans

To with drizzle maple syrup

7. Yogurt, fruit & granola

Lunches

1. Chicken salad lettuce wrap w/fresh fruit

2. Waffle, pecans, banana & maple syrup

3. Quesadillas, salsa & homemade guacamole

4. Green Slushy, tuna sandwich

5. Left overs

6. Left overs

7. Left Overs

Dinner

1. Chicken, rice & vegetable

2. Tortilla Soup

3. Split pea soup

4. Chicken gravy over rice w/veggies

5. Chicken, veggie & rice stir fry w/ homemade peanut sauce

6. Pork chops & sweet potatoes

7. Homemade chicken pot pie

Snacks

Homemade granola

Homemade trail mix

Veggies & hummus

Veggies & homemade guacamole

Ants on a log

Green slushy

Fresh Fruit w/coconut milk “whipped cream”

Toast w/local honey

Clean No bake cookies

Drinks

Homemade “Soda” – unsweetened juice mixed w/ sparkling water

Mint Ice Tea w/agave

Water w/lemons, oranges or cucumbers (keep in fridge)

Milk

Almond Milk

Coffee w/milk and agave (2 cups a day – max)

Sounds good, Right?

I’ll keep you posted.

Humpty Dumpty

Sometimes I feel like Humpty-Dumpty

Sitting upon the narrow wall, smiling –

as if I hadn’t a care in the world–

But don’t be fooled by my facade

Because inside, I’m scared I’m going to fall

and crumble into pieces that no one will be able to put together again.

Outside I look whole – but inside I’m coming undone. What can I do?

The the Word of the Lord came to me saying:

I know your hurts. I have collected all your tears in a bottle. (Ps 56:8)

Why am I discouraged? Why is my heart so sad? I will put my hope in God! I will praise him again--my Savior and my God! (Ps 43:5)

He sends forth His word and heals me. (Ps 107:20)

O Lord my God, I cried to You and You have healed me. (Ps 30:2) 

Surely He has borne our griefs (sicknesses, weaknesses, and distresses) and carried our sorrows and pains [of punishment], yet we [ignorantly] considered Him stricken, smitten, and afflicted by God [as if with leprosy]. But He was wounded for our transgressions, He was bruised for our guilt and iniquities; the chastisement [needful to obtain] peace and well-being for us was upon Him, and with the stripes [that wounded] Him we are healed and made whole. (Is 53:4 – 5)

He picked up all the pieces and put me back together again.

He not only heals my wounds, but renews my joy.

The thief comes only in order to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have and enjoy life, and have it in abundance (to the full, till it overflows).(John 10:10)

Jesus said to them, "Why are you troubled, and why do doubts arise in your hearts? "See My hands and My feet, that it is I Myself; touch Me and see, for a spirit does not have flesh and bones as you see that I have." (Luke 24:39)

Nail scared hand and feet, remained on Jesus' perfected resurrected body – so people would see and believe. Likewise, I pray that as he heals my wounds, He leaves scares – so others can see God’s healing power and believe in the God who is my Counselor, my Abba Father, my Comforter, and my Healer. 

Resolve to Not Resolve

I could make a resolution to

Eat Healthy and Clean -
You try doing this while cooking for 3 families living in your home, three to six extra teens,
a grown child and grandchild - and still having money
for the occasional Starbucks

  Keep the house spotless clean –Ha! I live with a toddler and a teenage, and on an average day have a dozen people coming in and out of my house.

  Never get mad at my husband – I’ll make this resolution if he resolves to never make me mad

 Always be patient –Even when a child pees on my floor, colors on my walls, or a teen misses the “basket” with the Dr Pepper can, then leaves the trash on the floor

Keep the car clean – I can’t make this on for the shear selfishness of it - what would my husband do for fun on the weekends if I did?

  Get more sleep –I could drug Kymee, shut down the teens gaming system, and kick the newborn living with us to the street

Have more facebook friends – seriously, I have no time to keep up with my current friends, why do 
I care what people I knew 30 years ago are doing? (No offense current “old” friends – you’re the ones who made the cut)

Have more time to myself -
Should have thought of this one when we were almost empty nesters
and decided to adopt a baby

So much for resolutions I won’t make. So what is my resolution?

In 2014 I resolve . . . not to resolve.

I am a planner. I love to plan everything to a tee. I set goals, schedules and plan accordingly. I have a list of long term, short term and immediate goals. Then God messes them up. He never allows me to stay in my box. So often he has greater things in store for me than I could even imagine. If 2013 taught me anything it was that sometime the interruption is more important than the goal down the road. I don’t regret a minute of the time I changed my plans to sit with my Mami while she was dying. I don’t regret the counseling thrown into our schedule, but not planned for.

So this year, I’ll make plans. I’ll follow them until God tells me otherwise – but I resolve to day by day be open to whatever He wants me to do, and be willing to change direction whenever He calls me to do so. I resolve to wake up every day and say, “God what do you have in store for me today?” And if I don’t hear back from Him, I go about my plans – which have been prayed over as well.

   I resolve to stop cleaning my house if a “chatty” friend stops by to talk about her troubled child – and just sit and listen.

I resolve to  stop mid-sentence and pray when led by the Holy Spirit

I resolve to stop “schooling” if a friend or family member is in need of help – this is a much greater lesson than math anyway.

 I resolve to stop watching my favorite TV show when my husband calls from a business trip

I resolve – Not to resolve what God wants me to do, but to be open, waiting and willing for Him to lead me daily into the unknown. 

2013: The Year God Became Personal

“And His name shall be called Wonderful, Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.” (Is. 9:6)

2013 will be a year I will never forget. It has been the hardest year of my life. It has brought the most pain. And in the midst of that pain, God has drawn near to me as never before.

I call Him, Wonderful.

I call Him,  Counselor. When my world fell apart and I was so depressed I didn't want to get out of bed – He listened to me and His voice and Word spoke wisdom to me. I had the opportunity to spend a whole day with Him – fasting and basking in His presence. I had ample time to cry and mourn the death of my son-in-law and mother-in-law, and the loss of dreams for my daughter and the presence of my grandson. I cried out in the wilderness and God heard my cries.  I could almost feel the warmth of His arms around me as I sobbed. He directed me to passages of scripture which helped me face a new day. And He put a song in my heart and gave me back the joy of my salvation.

Herman van Swanevelt - Saint Jerome in the Wilderness

I call Him, Mighty God. He is Sovereign. What other’s planned as harm for our family – God turned to His glory. I have prayed for my husband’s for 25+ years. In April, He made the decision to be “All in for God!” Satan has thrown everything at him and tried to destroy his passion for serving Him. Everything others might view as trials, God has used to draw Nelson closer to Himself. Despite everything, I see him growing spiritually every day. God, in His sovereignty has used the trials of our life to answer my prayers and to grow Nelson into a Mighty Warrior for Himself. He also answered another 25 year old prayer and gave me assurance of my mother-in-law’s salvation before she went to be with him.

William Blake - The Vision of God 

I call Him, Everlasting Father. A father I call “Abba” “Daddy.” He has not been a Santa Clause in the air who sees me when I’m good and bad, or who I just sit on his lap and ask for his “gifts” for my life.  He has been the Daddy who sees my needs before I could even ask, and has done “immeasurably more than all I ask or imagine.” (Eph.3:20). He put a song in my heart and gave me back the joy of my salvation when I was depressed and despondent. He gave me a new relationship as well as a new admiration for the man I love. He gave me a beautiful new grand-daughter. He has given me family and friends who have stood by my side instead of turning away when they saw the ugly truth about me. He confronted me with my own sins, and He and I both wept over them. Then he took them away as far as the east is from the west, and he looks at me a sees me as righteous.

Circle of Pierre Mignard I - God the Father

I call Him, Prince of Peace. When my heart was heavy with grief, I was haunted my memories. Memories of my last day with my mother-in-law. Sitting by her bedside as she faced death. The happy memories of 30 years faded into the background as I obsessed with this picture in my head. The picture popped into my mind each time I would shut my eyes to sleep, and sleep became only a dream. Then, at the end of my “day with God” I was singing and worshiping Him and I saw a vision (my first one ever). I was sitting at Mami’s bedside. Then I saw an angel descend, pick Mami up, and ascend with her into heaven. It was beautiful, and the Peace of God washed over me. I slept for the first time in 6 months that night. And although tears still flood my eyes as I think of Kenny and Mami, because I will forever miss them – I have peace that passes all understanding. Peace to live on another day and peace that I will see them again in eternity.

God is not just THE Wonderful, Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace – He is My Wonderful, My Counselor, My Mighty God, My Everlasting Father, My Prince of Peace. God became personal to me this year, in a way He never has before.

Great and Mighty Things for God

Mary – was just a girl, most likely a young teen, in fact.  She had no spectacular super powers. She was just an ordinary every day person who God choose to bring His son to earth.  

Madonna and Child by Raphael

Throughout the Bible we see that God used ordinary, everyday people to do extraordinary things for Him.

Gideon was just a farmer and David was just a shepherd. Peter was just a fisherman and Paul just a tent maker.

Shepherd with Staff and Flute - Rembrandt

I’m just a wife and mom.

Now you probably think I’m going to blog about how you can do extra-ordinary things for God. You can. I’ve never had a hard time believing this. This lesson has always been an easy one for me. I’ve never “saint - ified” Bible people or looked at them like super heroes. I’ve not only believed that God can use Elijah to call fire from the sky – but I believe that he can use me to do the same.

Most the time when teachers teach this lesson, they apply it to our lives by saying, “You just have to be willing. Be ready to say yes to God, no matter what He calls you to do.”

Yes, Lord, I’m willing.

Yes, Lord, I’m willing.

Yes, Lord, I’m willing.

YES, LORD, I’M WILLING.

Why isn’t He using me to do great and mighty things for Him? I trust in Him. I know He can use me to do mighty things. To affect millions. I am ready and willing. Use me.

I’ve been kind of discontent lately with what I am doing for God. I just don’t think I’m serving where I’m supposed to be serving. I think God wants me to do something bigger, and better – I just don’t know what.

I’m preparing my heart for the next phase of my life. I am in the Word. I am daily communicating with God. 

But I still wait.

I expect to be hearing from God at any moment that He wants me to do something big and mighty for Him. I could move mountains with my faith, but someone in Texas has already done that. Thoughts pop into my head as I shower; I think God wants me to be the next Beth Moore. She really has nothing up on me, you know – I can do everything she does. Don’t take this the wrong way - if you’re a Beth Moore hero worshiper – I’m just meaning I write Bible Studies, I teach, I speak. I love the Lord – just like she does. She just wears bigger jewelry than me. I pray, “Is this you want me to do, Lord? Is this what you’re preparing me for?”

Still waiting.

I’ve ALWAYS believed God would use me to do great things for Him. But I’m not. He hasn’t asked me to. Or has He?

This was a might revolution for me: Maybe he hasn’t asked me to be a Billy Graham, but a Mr. Williams, a man who taught 6^th Grade Sunday School for 25 years and affected hundreds of students over the years.

Maybe the “great and mighty” thing God wants me to do is not to save and entire nation, like Esther, or save the poor in Calcutta, like Mother Theresa.

Queen Esther by Edwin Longsden Long

Maybe the “great and mighty” thing God wants me to do is to live my life out daily for Him.

For me, to love the Lord with my heart, mind, soul and strength, and love others as myself, means:

I hold a screaming toddler in my arms at 3:00 am.

I have teens and young men and woman coming in and out
of my house at all hours of the day and night

I spend hours with my son comparing the world’s philosophy with God’s theology – so that He can face the world with a Biblical worldview.

I invite a homeless family to live with us.

I have lunch with a friend

I loan my car to someone who needs it more than I do.

I teach my students how to think.

I scrub permanent marker off of my walls.

I drive my son all over Fort Worth to develop the gifts and talents God has given him.

I stay married - for better and worse

I’m not trying to toot my own horn by saying these are “great and mighty” things for God. It is truly a revolutionary idea for me, and I’m excited about it. These ARE the “great and mighty” things God has asked me to do, and I said “yes.”