The Hardest Commission

I was feeling guilty - something I have an amazing talent and experience doing. The pastor was speaking on Acts 1:8. “but you will receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you; and you shall be My witnesses both in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and even to the remotest part of the earth."

I have never been on a mission trip. I have never gone to the ends of the earth or even around the State or US to minister. I’ve sent 3 out of 4 of my children on mission trips, I have sent my husband on mission trips, but I have never gone. Furthermore, I haven’t worked in my church home for the last couple of years.I have simply been overwhelmed with daily life and unable to preach and teach and “go.” I was feeling guilty because I’ve never fulfilled the great commission.

Or am I? Wow I have - I have been called to the hardest commission of all. God has commissioned me to be a witness within my own home. He has called me first and foremost to be a witness to the biological children he has given me. Then he has asked me to open my home and invite non-christian kids to live with us, through foster care. And finally he has asked me to add to our home through adoption. Ministry at home is the most difficult of all.



Why?
1) Because I can’t hide behind a happy face.
How many times have I gotten in a huge fight with my husband on the way to church, only to put on a happy face and walk through the church doors and tell 1st Graders how Jesus loves them.
My kids saw my bad attitude in the car - I can’t hide behind my smile.


2) Because it is a 24/7 ministry.
I don’t get to go on furlough from the mission field. I can’t take a sabbatical. I can’t go on vacation and leave my ministry behind for a week or two. My mission field is watching me day and night.






3) Because I can’t fake a Christian life
My kids see me at my worst. Believe me, I often treat strangers with more patience and love than I do my kids. If my kids, both temporary and permanent ones, are to see Christ in me, that means I must live out my faith moment by moment. They see the Mt Sinai moments, when I am wrapped in God’s glory; they see the moments I grumble and complain over the manna He has provided; they see me when I weep over trivial things in life, like a worm eating my ivy, yet I am judgemental and don’t weep over the spiritual death of those around me.

4) Because Jesus himself says it is the hardest ministry
Jesus preached in his hometown. His friends and family pretty much said, “ Who is this dude, that he knows this stuff?” After all, they had seen Jesus grow up, seen him skin his knees, and hit his thumb with a hammer.
Jesus said to them, "A prophet is not without honor except in his hometown and in his own household." (Matt 13:57)

The great commision, once again is
“but you will receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you; and you shall be My witnesses both in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and even to the remotest part of the earth." (Acts 1:8)

Why do all the sermons focus on the going to Africa or the Amazon? The first place to witness is in my hometown - and even in my family. But
Jesus had a hard time getting through to his household, and he was perfect, how on earth can I do it?



Before I witness, I receive the power of the Holy Spirit, and Jesus himself states, "Truly, truly, I say to you, he who believes in Me, the works that I do, he will do also; and greater works than these he will do; because I go to the Father. (John 14:12)

Sometimes I wish God would send me to some remote location, where I can have a mountaintop experience and put on a happy face when I witness to others. Instead, He’s commissioned me to love sometimes unloveable children, and to live under a microscope where little eyes examining my life to see if it resembles Christ - day in and day out.

I can’t do it - Thank you Lord that I don’t have to, but the Holy Spirit can do so through me.

Unwanted Masterpieces

Unwanted. Sold for $45 at a garage sale. Stashed under a pool table. Unseen by society. Just an old box of photos.
The photos are meaningless, except for the photographer: Ansel Adams. Now their estimated worth is over $200 million.
Unwanted, undersold, thrown aside, forgotten, yet unfathomably valued and worthy of respect: Unwanted Masterpieces

I once taught a Bible study for a group of teens who lived in a group home. We were studying the value of life and why abortion was wrong, when a sweet 13 year old girl with creamy chocolate skin and a beautiful face of innocence said, “I wish I had been aborted.” In shock, I replied, “How can you say something like that?” Trying to stop her watery pupils from leaking, she replied,”No one has ever wanted me.” And, she was right.

50,000 children waiting to be adopted
400,000 more children in need of foster care
15,000 Children - per year- aging out of the system without a family
The population of children in substitute care is growing 33 times faster than the U.S. child population in general (1)

“Unadoptable children”
6 year old or older and white
2 years old or older and not white
Siblings
Children with physical, mental or emotional challenges (2)

“Caseworkers have been forced to keep children in the CPS offices overnight. Some offices have cots and play pens to provide the children coming into care a safe place to stay the night, in the hopes that a placement will be found for them the following day. The reality is that placement is not found the following day for a number of these children and will return to live in a CPS office for another night.” (3)

Unwanted. Stashed in group homes. Unseen by society. Just a gaggle of “unadoptable” children.
They are meaningless, except to their Creator: God. Their estimated worth is Jesus life. Yet they may never know this.
Unwanted, undersold, thrown aside, forgotten, yet unfathomably valued and worthy of respect. Unwanted Masterpieces
You say abortion is wrong? How will you let the unaborted yet unwanted children know?

(1) Craig,Conna, Director, Institute For Children, Hoover Institute Stanford University.
(2) Texas Adoption Resource Exchange
(3) http://foster-care.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/texas-foster-care-scrambling-to-place-ch

Why isn’t the Church?

The wailing mother screams at God for taking her son all too early. Why isn’t the church offering the Eternal Comforter?

The twin brother throws himself on the casket. If faith, hope and love remain, why isn’t the church offering them?

One by one the sorrowful teens tell stories of despair and abandonment. They’re happy to receive temporary lodging, but why isn’t the church offering an eternal home?

The mourners drowned their sorrows in alcohol and drugs. Why isn’t the church offering living water?

We live in fear.

We fear we may get hurt if we step to close to the hurting.

We are sequestered in our pews, fearing the sick may contaminate us.

We clasp our hands in prayer, and raise our hands in praise, yet fear lending a helping hand because we may get our hands dirty.

We fear helping – or worse yet, we’ve moved so far away from the reality around us that we don’t get close enough to the need to know there is one.

My Chains are Gone

"My chains are gone

I've been set free

My God, my Savior has ransomed me

And like a flood His mercy reigns

Unending love, Amazing grace"

Chris Tomlin

At the final CPS home study before adoption, the caseworker asked Mandy, "Why do you want to be adopted?"

Her response? "So I no longer have to see you."

Mean? Not at all. She's chained down. Chained to CPS. They've investigated her past, they get reports on her present, and control her future. They dictate where she lives, how many clothes she has to have hanging in her closet, the types of friends she can have, the amount of contact she has with her family, and whether or not she can even cut her hair. The chains tighten around her, strangling her joy, and inhibiting her from becoming the person God created her to be.

Friday is "The Presentation." CPS discloses all information they have on Mandy, and we sign that we accept her and will love her, even after knowing all. Our signiture defeats the CPS monster that binds our daughter.

CPS chains Mandy, enslaving her to a legal system void of grace
Sin enslaves us to the law, we are bound by Satan, and encumbered by our own sinful nature

"you used to be slaves to sin" Romans 6: 17

"The Presentation" discloses Mandy's past

Every sin we have committed or ever will commit is laid before Christ
"You know my folly, O God; my guilt is not hidden from you." Ps. 69:5

We can choose to sign or reject Mandy because of the tablet written against her, Mandy is powerless

Christ chose to accept us despite our offenses, we are powerless

"You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous man, though for a good man someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." Rom 5: 6 - 8

Mandy's chains are gone (Friday, April 30)

Our chains are gone

"It is for freedom that Christ has set us free" Gal 5:1

"My chains are gone
I've been set free
My God, my Savior has ransomed me
And like a flood His mercy reigns
Unending love, Amazing grace"

Unconditional Love

Getting rid of half your clothes so someone else can have half the closet space.

Sharing your mom and your dad with a stranger - and having them get more attention than yourself.

Sharing your room.

Not getting angry or crying when your new Wii, the only gift you got for Christmas and your birthday gets ruined - and never hearing an apology.

Having your beautiful pink suit jacket, which you saved up your own money to buy and which is dry clean only, shrunk and responding by saying thank you because you knew how much pride the person who thew it in the washer and dryer had.

Telling jokes to make your parents smile when all they want to do is cry.

Watching your dad break down a door to witness your sister trying to kill herself - and not telling all your friends about it because you don't want to humiliate her.

Spending two days and a year's worth of haircuts for yourself to give your daughter hair extensions so she will feel beautiful.

Taking a complaining, disappearing child to Sea World.

Buying your daughter contacts for a year, out of your own pocket money - not medicaid - when you know she'll be leaving your home in a week - just so she leaves with convidence.

Sitting on gravel, in a skirt, holding a 220 pound child who is biting and head butting - so that she can't hurt herself.

Making a birthday cake.

Tucking in a child.

Picking up a teen at a friends house at 2am after she has snuck out of the house - when she tells you to send her away - you hug her, tell her you love her, and you'll get through it together.

Loosing your heart and having your integrity questioned.

Going out of your way and doing everything which is humanly possible to make a child happy - and never being thanked.

Setting boundaries and being told you're hated.

Going out of your way to be kind to someone who resents and degrades you.

Loosing sleep because of fear for your daughter's safety, and because of depression, and stress, and crying out to God for help.

Going to Disney World.

Wanting despertly to take all the pain of someone else upon yourself.

Falling in love and losing the person - physically and/or emotionally.

Not being understood, or liked, or respected.

Doing what is right even when it is being called into question.

Doing everything you can to make someone happy and have them run to someone else.

Having your heart split in two and still being willing to give it away again.

Unconditional love?

Being spit at, humiliated, beaten, and killed for someone else's crime.

"This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins." - I John 4:10

Unconditional love?

This is love: not that they love us, but that we love them and sacrifice our time and wants and desires so they can live a life that glorifies God.

Boundaries

If you had a puppy and you loved her - would you fense her in or allow her to run in the road and get hit by a car?

If you had a child and you loved her - would you set rules or allow her to make bad decisions and harm herself?

If you were God, and you loved your children - would you give commandments - or would you allow you children to do whatever they wanted and end up in eternal damnation?

Rags to Riches

Once upon a time there was a little girl who lived among trash. Dust floated to the air as she shuffled her feet across her bedroom floor accidentally kicking the years of school folders, spelling tests and notecards which lay dormit beneath her feet. Thirty, forty, or maybe even fifty hand-me-down stuffed animals lined the walls and piled up the side of it, as if they were the childhood skin she had shed years ago, even though she herself was still a child. Clothes were mounted on shelves, under the bed, in and on top of the dresser, and stuffed into dozens of garbage bags randomly sprawled around the room. There was no electricity but she cuddled into the piles of garbage bags for warmth. The wilted, long-past-dead flower bouquet hung it's head in the corner reflecting the mood of the little girl's room. And worst of all, there was no mother capable of removing the little girl from the filth, and giving her a warm loving environment.

Then one day a fairy godmother took the little girl out of the trash and placed her in a beautiful castle. She had a lovely room which she was allowed to decorate lime-green, her favorite color, and a superman blanket to keep her warm at night. She was given a new mother, the Queen, who wanted to give her the best of everything. She took the little girl shopping to buy new cothes, new dust-free toys, and file-folders with pictures of happy faced puppies to hold her treasured papers. Best of all, the Queen loved and treasured her and declaired her a princess.

But alas, the little girl longed for the days of the trash. She felt the lime green walls were closing in on her and she wanted to return to the days of the dust filled nostrils. However, she was unable to return to her old abode because the fairy godmother's spell had been permanent. The little girl dreamed and planned and ploted about returning to the trash but there was no hope of it, she was stuck being a princess in a beautiful castle. Then she had an idea, if she couldn't return to the trash, she would bring the trash to herself. So, she began stockpiling everything she owned. She scatered papers on the floor, she stuffed clothes into sacks and comfunscated raggedy stuffed animals to line the walls of her lime-green castle room. She wore old socks and pants and shirts with stains and holes in them. Once again the princess began to feel like a little girl instead of a princess. But what the princess did not know was that when a little girl is declaired a princess by the Queen, she can never return to just a little girl again. The Queen was sad that the princess would not accept the things she had given her, but she relized that little girl was forever changed, and the little girl was her very own princess.

Once upon a time there was a little boy who lived in sin. As his heart was shuffled, bitterness, covetness, and anger blew up and clouded it. Piles of possessions, partying, and a sense of power were scattered throughout his life. And he warmed himself with his pride, believing himself to be a good person "better than most."

And then one day a Prince rescued the little boy and placed him into the arms of his father, the King. The King loved the little boy and gave him everything he needed. He filled his heart with love, joy, peace and patience. He replaced the possessions, partying, and a sense of power with purpose. He allowed the little boy to decorate his activities, emotions and words with the desires of his heart. And best of all, the King loved the boy and declaired him to be a Prince.

But alas, the little boy longed for the days of pride. He felt the Kings arms were squeezing him too tight. He wanted to continue living in the arms of the King, but he wanted his old selfishness as well. So, instead of living the lavish life which the King had given him, he began to take back control of his old habits, compiling stuff and regaining his lost power. But what the little boy didn't know was that once the King had declaired him a prince, he could never go back to being a prideful little boy again. The King was sad that the prince would not accept all he had bestowed on him. He looked at the boy in his sin-laden clothes, wrapped him in His arms, looked into his eyes and recognized the prince as His dearly beloved child and heir to the entire Kingdom.

The End

OCD

"I want the Vans."

"Please put the shoes back, Sweetheart. We're not getting them"

"I want the Vans."

"I already bought you two pairs of shoes, one pair of tennis shes and a pair of dress shoes."

"I want the Vans."

"Honey, we are leaving the store with $200 worth of clothes for you - I can't afford another thing."

"I want the Vans."

"You really don't need anything else."

"I want the Vans."

"Why can't you just say 'Thanks you' for what I did get you?"

"I want the Vans"

"I want the Vans" is the constant hum I hear from the backseat as I turn up the music trying to drowned out the sound.

"I want the Vans" is the dinner conversation.

The singing of the "I want the Vans" makes it almost impossible to enjoy the singing on the families favorite show 'American Idol'

"Time for bed."

"I want the Vans."

Let's pray. "Lord, thank you for this day. Thank you that we got to go shopping. Thank you for all the new things we got. Thank you for the fun we had as a family. Please help Sweetheart to go to sleep and have good dreams."

"Would you like to pray, Sweetheart?"
"Dear Jesus, I want the Vans. Amen."

"Lord,I want the Vans."

"Every perfect gift comes from above, from Me, the Father of Light. I do not change like shifting shadows."

"I really need the Vans."

"If I clothe the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will I not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?"

"Lord, can't I exchange the gifts you've given me for the Vans?"

"Every perfect gift comes from above, from Me, the Father of Light. I do not change like shifting shadows."

"But God, I really want the Vans."

"Lord, please heal me and rescue me from my OCD."

Control

"I'm going. I have to. You can't stop me. I'll go by myself. There's nothing you can do to stop me."

"Don't you realize I want you to go. In fact, I'm going to take you myself. But what you don't understand is you can't go without me, no matter how much you want to."

Blank stare. Heels dug in. Refusing to admit I could stop her - refusing to admit I have any control at all. Refusing to admit that I want the same thing as her. Wanting her to realize she can't get it without me. Wanting her to say thank you - but it doesn't come. She believes that if she looses control - or gives the control away that she will no longer be happy. No longer have fun. No longer be free. She doesn't realize I could give her more options than her mind could dream up. She could have more fun, and be happier, and have a freedom beyond her immediate limitations. If only she would let go long enough to realize I want the best for her.

"He is before all things, and in him all things hold together." Col 1:17

"I'm doing it my way - and there's nothing you can do about it!"

"If only she would realize I created her, I give her life each day. She can do nothing without me."

Bland stare. I dig in my heals. I can do anything I set my mind to. Why should I trust in God - He'd just wants to take all my fun away? He wants to tell me what I can and can't do.

Open my eyes, Lord. Help me to see that I can do nothing on my own. You created me and you give me life each day. You don't want to ruin my life - you want the best for me. Without you I could do nothing. You will give me more opertunities than I could ever imagine. Open my eyes, help me to see how much I need You, how much You love me. I exist, and live and love because of You -forgive me for my failure to recognize it. All you want is my thanks, my adoration, my worship - is that too much to ask? So why do I keep digging in my heels?

Changed Life = Loneliness?

Once upon there was a beautiful baby butterfly. She was so excited about her new wings that she organized a party to celebrate. She invited her caterpillar friends as well as her new butterfly friends.

On the day of the party, her fellow butterflies hovered over the leaves where the caterpillars sat, refusing to muddy their feet by landing on the same leaf as a caterpillar. The baby butterfly tried to make everyone happy by fluttering between the two groups. The caterpillars ask the butterflies to join them for a crunchy leaf meal, only to be told that butterflies only eat pollen and don’t munch on leaves. The butterflies talked amongst themselves saying how maybe the baby wasn’t a butterfly after all since she still associated with the caterpillars, and she was sitting on the leaf, the speculated that maybe she actually did still eat plants rather than pollen.

Baby Butterfly’s happiness turned into confusion as she discovered she loved her caterpillar friends but she no longer desired to eat leaves as they did. She knew she should fly with the other butterflies because she looked liked them and ate the same food as they did, but they didn’t accept her, and she didn’t really like the way they had treated her caterpillar friends.

So, she fluttered from flower to flower alone, a beautiful new butterfly, lonely and afraid.

John 8: 3 - 11

The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery. They made her stand before the group and said to Jesus, “Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?” They were using this question as a trap, in order to have a basis for accusing him.

But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger. When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, “If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her.” Again he stooped down and wrote on the ground.

At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there. Jesus straightened up and asked her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?”

“No one, sir,” she said.

“Then neither do I condemn you,” Jesus declared. “Go now and leave your life of sin.”

Who do you believe this woman’s friends were after her life-saving moment with Christ?

If she went and sinned no more, would she be accepted by her old crowd?

Would the religious group whom she stood before, condemned, now accept her as one of their own?

Was she destined to loneliness because of Christ’s touch? Should it ever be?

How would we treat her if she walked amongst us now?

She does.