Reprint: In honor of Kymee's 4th Birthday

Preface: I am in awe of God. How he sets things

in motion and carries them out to his glory. I am honored that just once he has allowed me to witness the different avenues he works in and ho

w he brings things together to fulfill his purpose. This is His story of His actions and how He has blessed me through working in various people.

“A cord of three strands is not quickly torn apart” Eccl 4:12

Strand One

“You need to abort the baby.” Both the second and third doctors encouraged the same thing. “She really can’t physically or emotionally deal with the

birth of this baby.” “Besides, the medications that she is on will harm the baby and the baby will surely be born deformed, have serious issues, or it could even be a stillborn birth.” “It’s cruel to make her go through the pregnancy and labor, you have to abort.”
I looked at my grand daughter, who I had legally adopted

when she was 10. She had grown into a beautiful young 21 year old woman, yet she still had the mentality of a child maybe of 7 or 8. She had been through so much in her lifetime. She was beaten up when she was little. Now she’s got both mental and emotional challenges. She’s bipolar, and can never get off the medicine, or

she becomes angry and violent and could hurt herself or someone else. Now she’s been raped. I know who’s done it, but the police say she ain’t got the mental capacity to testify. But now we find out
she has this baby inside her. What am I going to do? What is best for my little girl?

“Mama, I want to keep it.”
“Honey, you know you can’t keep the baby, you can’t even remember to take a bath or brush your teeth.” “I don’t want to kill it.”

But I’m too old to take care of a baby. Besides that, I’ve got enough people to take care of without this one. I adopted both my grandkids, and neither one of them can care for themselves. I watch my other three grandkids, cuz their

daddy works nights and just ain’t home with ‘em. And Papa, he ain’t in the best of health. He’s just not doing well. Lord, I know I can’t take care of this young ‘em. Besides, I think the doctors are right, I don’t know if My Baby can handle going through this. I think we better do the abortion.
I told ya Papa wasn’t too well. He had a heart attack and had to have surgery. They put in a pacemaker. By the time I got him home from the hospital, she was way past the point to do the

abortion. I guess we best just give the baby to a good family.

“Honey, I think we should give the baby to a good family.”
“But I want to take care of the baby, Mama.”
“I got you a Chihuahua.”
“I’ll name her Sugar. She’s more fun than a baby. But

can I name the baby too? I always wanted to grow up and have a Baby Rose.”
“Sure Honey, we’ll name the baby Rose.”“And I’ll always be a Mama even if I don’t take care of the baby?”
“Yes Honey. No one can take that away from you. You’ll always be a Mama.”
“Come on, Sugar, let’s play house. You be the baby.”

“Mama it hurts. Make it stop.”“It’s almost over, Sweetheart.”
“Ma’am, you have a baby girl. She has a cleft palate, so her lip looks kind of different.”
“I don’t want to see her. She looks funny, and she hurt me. Take her away. . but please call her Rose. . . Mama, I want to go home and play with Sugar.”“OK, Honey, we will, as soon as you feel a little better.”

Strand Two

“Lord, I don’t get it.” Tears evaporated from my face as the steamy shower water hit them. “I am more than qualified to be a nanny. Why haven’t I

gotten a job yet? Others are getting jobs who are a lot less qualified then I am! I just don’t get it.”

“Yes, I am looking for a job, but I can take another baby until I have one.”
“The adoptive parents decided they couldn’t handle

it when they saw her cleft lip, so we’ll have to look for other parents. You may have her for a while."

“As long as I’m available, I’d love to have her.”

“Oh, look at you. You are so beautiful, and so so sweet.That lip doesn’t take away from your beauty,it just adds to your character. It will be fixed, and you will be as good as new in no time. You’re new Mommy and Daddy will be shooing the boys away soon enough.”
“We haven’t found parents yet.”

“You are so special. Can I tell you a secret, Rose?

I have never loved another foster baby like I love you. I shouldn’t even have you - I should have a job. But I’m so glad I do. ” I promised myself I wouldn’t fall in love with my foster babies. Of course, I love them all, but you know what I

mean. I always somewhat guard my heart, so I can hand them over to their new mommies. But there is something special about this one. I don’t know what it is, but the walls of my self preservation have come tumbling down. I know she’s not mine, and I can’t keep her, but I can’t seem to stop myself from loving her.

“How can that be? Are you telling me that you have

gone through your list of possible parents registered in the agency, and no one wants this baby? That’s impossible. Did you tell them her lip can be fixed? Did you tell them how beautiful she is? About her perfectly round head, that looks like a baby doll mold? And her Big beautiful blue eyes? Did you tell them about her perfect fingernails, that look like she just had a professional manicure? How she is the sweetest little thing

ever? That she smiles, even though she is too young to smile? . . . I have a friend. . .”

Strand Three

Worthy is the,
Lamb who was slainHoly, Holy, is He
Sing a new song, to Him who sits on
Heaven's Mercy Seat
“Be willing to take the baby.”
I’m trying to sing - why won’t this thought leave my head?
“Honey.. . “
“”Shhhhh. We’re worshiping.”
“Honey, I can’t get this thought out of my head. It’s like I keep hearing a voice say, ‘Be willing to take the baby.’”
“What baby?”
“I don’t know, but I can’t get the thought out of my head.”

Clothed in rainbows, of living color
Flashes of lightning, rolls of thunder
Blessing and honor, strength and
Glory and power be
To You the Only Wise King,

“Thanks to you, now I have it in my head too”

Holy, Holy, Holy
Is the Lord God Almighty
Who was, and is, and is to come
With all creation I sing:
Praise to the King of Kings!
You are my everything,
And I will adore You…!

“Let’s stop whispering and pay attention to the sermon.”
“LISTENING TO THE VOICE OF GOD . . . If God is speaking to you this morning, I invite you to come forward and pray with our Care Team.”
“Honey, I think we should go forward.”

We prayed. We didn’t get it. That was a year and a half ago. But we prayed because we thought we heard the voice of God.

Three and a half years ago God had called us to foster and adopt children - older children. There are lots of people who want babies, especially white ones. We wanted to adopted children the state deemed “unadoptable” meaning older, sibling groups or not white.

But after that day at church, I couldn’t get the idea of adopting a baby out of my heart or mind. I thought about raising another child. I dreamed about it. I imagined it. I researched it and planned all the things I’d do differently this time around.

“Honey, I really want a baby.”
“Why don’t we wait for grand kids?”
“I can’t wait to have grand kids! But it’s not the same. I want to raise another child. I love being a Mom.”
“That’s crazy, but why don’t we talk to the foster agency and see if they can place a baby with us.”

“We asked you 10 months ago to place a baby with us. Why are you telling us now, that you can’t put our name on the list for a baby, it has to be for a child between the ages of 0 - 5 years? And we have to take two? We already adopted one, doesn’t that count as half of two? No? We have to take two more? ”

We can’t do it. We talked to the kids. Both were overwhelmed with the idea of having two preschool/toddler/babies in the home. It simply isn’t fair to them.

“Honey, please take down the crib. I don’t want a visual reminder of not having another baby staring me in the face every morning when I wake up. I have to refocus on something else.”

I spent a day curled up in a ball and crying over the lose of a baby I’d never have, over the lose of a dream.

“Please God, take this desire from me. I feel like You opened up my heart to a baby that morning in church. I really thought it was You speaking to me. Maybe it wasn’t. Lord, take the desire or You give me a baby miraculously. If you can impregnate Sarah in her old age, or Mary in her virginity, you can give me a baby if you so choose. I promise to never again pursue a child on my own, if you want me to have one You make it abundantly clear that it is from You.”

“Hello. What do you mean that no one wants Rose?”
“Of course, I will talk to him, but I know he will say no.”

“Honey, about that baby. . .”
“Don’t you think we’re too old?”
“Speak for yourself!”
“What about the money?”
Taken care of.
“What about the medical expenses?”
Taken care of.
“What about our not being with the same agency?”
Taken care of.
“What will the kids think?”
Taken care of - in fact - the one you were the most worried about is begging to take the baby.
“Let’s call the agency, and if it is God’s will, it will happen, if not, God will put a stop to it.”

Clear sailing, just enough wind to carry us across a sea of paperwork.

“A cord of three strands is not quickly torn apart”

"Off with her head" - Bullying

Charles Robinson - 1907

Yesterday, I witnessed three 10 year old boys hanging out at the pool. One squirted another with a water blaster, the third boy cried out to his friend who was being sprayed, “He’s just a bully, let’s not play with him anymore.” 

Is the boy who squirt the water blaster any more of a bully than the one who labeled him as such?

Are we teaching prejudice when we label children as bullies?

As Christians, how do we handle the issue of bullying with our own kids?

I know I am tackling an issue with lots of emotions tied to it. I myself have many emotions attached to the word. I’m not an expert in “bullying” – I am just a mother who has lived through and is living through a generation obsessed with the concept of bullying. 

I know what it feels like to be the mother of a bullied child. Remember “My Space”- the social networking site prior to facebook? My junior high daughter had a “My Space” page entitled “I hate Emily.” The cowardly, unidentified author of the site proceeded to rip apart my daughter and write everything negative that he thought about her on the open internet forum.  She cried. I cried. I was angry. The only redeeming thing about the experience was that she had so many friends defend her and write sweet things about her on the site. Her friends stood up for her, and eventually the angry cyber bullying stopped because his comments fell on deaf ears.  I wanted desperately to protect my daughter – but there was little I could do. 

Charles Folkard - 1921

I know what it feels like to be the mother of a “bully.” I say this very loosely – because I really don’t believe my child is a bully, in fact I think it is impossible for a three-year old to be a bully- but she has been labeled as one. You see, my daughter has disabilities which include “behavioral issues.” I hate the term because it always makes me think that normal discipline could fix these issues – I also think people have much great sympathy for those with physical disabilities than with kids who have “behavioral issues.” But, back to the bullying situation. My daughter can be overly aggressive without knowing it. She also deals with melt-downs in which she hurts herself, things, and others in her uncontrollable anger.  The hurting others has cost me relationships – there are friends I have who will not bring their children around mine because they are afraid my child with hurt theirs. I rarely leave my daughter – there are only a handful of places or adults I trust with her. But everywhere I have ever dropped her off – at church, or nursery situation – I have seen a toddler run and hide and say, “don’t let her hurt me.” I have witnessed child care workers talking with each other, and parents talking to each other and I have heard them say my daughter is a “bully.” I am sad for these other kids –I don’t want them to be hurt, and I want them to be hurt at the hands of my child even less. I want desperately to protect my daughter from being labeled a “bully” – but I don’t always know what to do. 

I can tell you from experience that parenting a child labeled a bully is just as painful and heart-wrenching as parenting a child who is bullied.

John Tenniel - 1865

Researching this topic has been eye-opening. Statistics show that 1 in 4 children claim to have been bullied, and 1 in 5 admits to having bullied.  Sometimes the same child experiences both sides.

So how should we as Christian parents address the issue?

1) Teach Children to be self-confident.

“Students who have been bullied exhibit depression, low self-esteem, health problems, poor grades, and suicidal ideation.” BullyingEducation.org

All children will be called names on the playground or be roughed up a little. If a child is self-confident, he can deal with the everyday stuff.  You, or another adult, won’t need to step in unless the situation is ongoing or excessive.

How do you teach self-confidence?

                Teach them who they are in Christ. Have them memorize Psalms 139:13-14

“For you created my inmost being;  you knit me together in my mother’s womb.I praise you(T) because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.”

                Tell them how much you love them, how they are special, and how blessed you are to have       them.

                Encourage them to try new things, and get them involved in things they love and things they are             good at – but don’t pressure them to be the best or perfect.

Surprisingly, I have seen my 16 year old son “bullied.” But when asked, he states he has never been bullied. I believe it is because he feels good about himself, believes the best in others, and forgives easily, so he is able to let hurtful words slide off of him easily.

2) Teach children to be kind.

                Memorize Eph 4:29

“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”

                Have your home be a positive place where children can be themselves and kind words are          spoken.

I attended my dad’s 30^th high school class reunion. My dad was a sports star, so when one of his classmates ask me, “Do you know what I remember most about your dad?” I assumed he’d tell me the story of an amazing touch down. Instead he said, “I can’t remember your dad ever saying anything negative about anyone.” Wow. 30 years after graduation –that is what is remembered! I want my kids to learn this lesson and be remembered for the same.

3) Teach your children to love people.

                Teach your kids to encourage the kids who are being bullied

Matthew 25:40 "The King will reply, 'Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.

                Teach kids to stand up for those being bullied

“Bystanders too suffer from bullying which goes on around them. They suffer from feelings of guilt, fear, powerlessness and, if the adults fail to react and to put an end to it, they often find themselves joining in. They become frustrated by the lack of action on the part of the adults and the inability of the victim to stand up for themselves. Later in life these same students suffer from feelings of guilt and depression for not having done more to help a classmate.” BullyingEducation.org

                Teach your kids to love those who are bullies – kids bully for many different reasons – but most               have deep hurts, dysfunctional families, suffer from low self-esteem or simply do not have               social skills.

Matthew 5: 44 “But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you”

When Emylee was in swimming, a boy came into her club. No one liked him, but Emylee was kind. One day the boy lost it – he matched into the pool area – said hello to Emylee and went into the locker rooms where he took out a BB gun and shot some of the boys.  He was sent to a detention center and when asked, he said he did not shoot Emylee because she is the only one at swim who had ever been nice to him.

4) Have open communication with your kids and step in when needed

                Listen to kids when they talk about the stuff you don’t care about, so they will come to you        when they are being bullied – many times listening is all a child needs to recover from the hurt

                Take kids seriously – kids handle bullying differently, and you will know when your child has had               enough and can’t deal with it themselves – this is when you must step in and protect him

5) Model godly love and social skills

                Learn who you are in Christ and live in it

                Be kind with your words – it’s easy to be kind those you love , but are you kind to the lady in the              checkout line who is price checking every item, while you wait with your 3 toddler screaming in    the cart?

                Love others – how do your kids see you reacting to those who are unkind to you?

                Remember - Your children will act like you do when placed in a social situation

Gwynedd M. Hudson -1922

Bullying is a tough issue.  It is not a new one, but has become a social buzz word. Let’s not buzz ourselves and label children as bullies. Bad behavior must be dealt with – but labels can harm someone for a lifetime.  Let’s raise confident Christian kids who can positively impact both the bullies and those being bullied.                 

My Chatterbox

I crawl into my bed, fluff the blankets, snuggle into the blankets – when suddenly my bed shakes and bounces me up as my 16 year old son leaps from the door onto the bed in excitement. He’s just made a list of all his recommendations for “must-see” movies. He excitedly rambles on about each movie and why it’s on his list. I forgot how tired I was as I join in his excitement and we laugh and chat on my bed.

Throughout the years, I’ve listened when I thought my ears would fall off and my brain would go numb from hearing things I care nothing about. Believe me, when I tell you I have listened to hours upon hours of talk about Yu-Gi-Oh! Comic Book Heroes and Villains, and let’s not forget the Zombies.

I’ve been given random “pop” quizzes to test whether I was “really” listening or whether I was “pretending” to listen by nodding my head at appropriate times but thinking about my grocery list.

“List for me which Superheroes are DC and which are Marvel?”

“Did Jack Nicholson or Heath Ledger make a better Joker? And Why?”

“What is the best rout of escape from our house in a Zombie apocalypse?”

 “What is the best weapon to use in against Zombies?”        

Although my test scores don’t really reflect my true intelligence, the grades reflect way more than those I received in college because instead of an “A” on a report card, I’m rewarded with a teenager who hops on my bed in excitement and tells me about his world.

THE CHATTERBOX

Ann Taylor

(Revised by me)

From morning till night it was Andres’ delight

To chatter and talk without stopping:

There was not a day but he rattled away,

Like water for ever a-dropping.

No matter at all if the subjects were small,

Or not worth the trouble of saying,

'Twas equal to him, he would talking prefer

To working, or reading, or playing.

Unquenchable Stomach

I never post about food, or weight, or health or stuff like that. But there’s a first time for everything. I’m posting as a sort of accountability for myself.

"...there was a little left at the very bottom of the jar,
and he pushed his head right in..."

The Bible says, “Whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.” I Cor 10:31

The Holy Spirit has convicted me that eating is an area of my life which I have not allowed God to take control of.

"'Tiggers don't like Honey'

Confessions time:

I eat when I am stressed – which has been a lot lately.

I eat out of “peer pressure” or “socially” – which means I am letting others and not God have control of my eating patterns.

I reward myself with unhealthy food, saying, “Let’s get a treat.”

I eat late at night when I am alone.

I eat at fast food restaurants multiple times a week because I am always on the road. 

These thoughts are temptations which I often give in to and I believe Satan has used them to sap me of some of my ability to glorify God.

I am often tired and lack energy.

I have stomach issues and headaches almost daily.

I don’t have the strength to run around and play with Kymee as I want to.

I’m going to take God at His word and choose to receive His promise,

“Let him who thinks he stands take heed that he does not fall. No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, so that you will be able to endure it.” I Cor. 12 - 13

"...Christopher Robin finished the mouthful he was eating
and said carelessly: "I saw a Heffalump to-day, Piglet."

So my goals for this week are this:

Eat what God has made and not what man has made (eat clean)

Replace white food with healthier options

NO fast food – be prepared to eat healthy food in the car

Precook and prepare so that I can provide delicious, simple, fast-cooking meals and snacks for my family.

Enjoy the meals and snacks God has given me to prepare.

"As soon as he got home, he went to the larder; and he stood on a
chair, and took down a very large jar of honey from the top shelf."

Today’s my shopping day. I’m going to Sprouts. Little more expensive than Trader Joes – but closer so I save on gas.

Here’s my meal plans for the week (they aren’t by day, so we can eat what sounds good daily)

Breakfasts

1. Eggs baked in Avacado halves & Toast

2. Green Slushy

3. Chicken fajita scrambled eggs

4. PB & Jelly sandwich w/ fresh carrot & orange juice

5. Oatmeal w/coconut milk, raisins & cinnamon

6. Fried (in coconut oil) cooked sweet potatoes, bananas & pecans

To with drizzle maple syrup

7. Yogurt, fruit & granola

Lunches

1. Chicken salad lettuce wrap w/fresh fruit

2. Waffle, pecans, banana & maple syrup

3. Quesadillas, salsa & homemade guacamole

4. Green Slushy, tuna sandwich

5. Left overs

6. Left overs

7. Left Overs

Dinner

1. Chicken, rice & vegetable

2. Tortilla Soup

3. Split pea soup

4. Chicken gravy over rice w/veggies

5. Chicken, veggie & rice stir fry w/ homemade peanut sauce

6. Pork chops & sweet potatoes

7. Homemade chicken pot pie

Snacks

Homemade granola

Homemade trail mix

Veggies & hummus

Veggies & homemade guacamole

Ants on a log

Green slushy

Fresh Fruit w/coconut milk “whipped cream”

Toast w/local honey

Clean No bake cookies

Drinks

Homemade “Soda” – unsweetened juice mixed w/ sparkling water

Mint Ice Tea w/agave

Water w/lemons, oranges or cucumbers (keep in fridge)

Milk

Almond Milk

Coffee w/milk and agave (2 cups a day – max)

Sounds good, Right?

I’ll keep you posted.

Humpty Dumpty

Sometimes I feel like Humpty-Dumpty

Sitting upon the narrow wall, smiling –

as if I hadn’t a care in the world–

But don’t be fooled by my facade

Because inside, I’m scared I’m going to fall

and crumble into pieces that no one will be able to put together again.

Outside I look whole – but inside I’m coming undone. What can I do?

The the Word of the Lord came to me saying:

I know your hurts. I have collected all your tears in a bottle. (Ps 56:8)

Why am I discouraged? Why is my heart so sad? I will put my hope in God! I will praise him again--my Savior and my God! (Ps 43:5)

He sends forth His word and heals me. (Ps 107:20)

O Lord my God, I cried to You and You have healed me. (Ps 30:2) 

Surely He has borne our griefs (sicknesses, weaknesses, and distresses) and carried our sorrows and pains [of punishment], yet we [ignorantly] considered Him stricken, smitten, and afflicted by God [as if with leprosy]. But He was wounded for our transgressions, He was bruised for our guilt and iniquities; the chastisement [needful to obtain] peace and well-being for us was upon Him, and with the stripes [that wounded] Him we are healed and made whole. (Is 53:4 – 5)

He picked up all the pieces and put me back together again.

He not only heals my wounds, but renews my joy.

The thief comes only in order to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have and enjoy life, and have it in abundance (to the full, till it overflows).(John 10:10)

Jesus said to them, "Why are you troubled, and why do doubts arise in your hearts? "See My hands and My feet, that it is I Myself; touch Me and see, for a spirit does not have flesh and bones as you see that I have." (Luke 24:39)

Nail scared hand and feet, remained on Jesus' perfected resurrected body – so people would see and believe. Likewise, I pray that as he heals my wounds, He leaves scares – so others can see God’s healing power and believe in the God who is my Counselor, my Abba Father, my Comforter, and my Healer. 

Resolve to Not Resolve

I could make a resolution to

Eat Healthy and Clean -
You try doing this while cooking for 3 families living in your home, three to six extra teens,
a grown child and grandchild - and still having money
for the occasional Starbucks

  Keep the house spotless clean –Ha! I live with a toddler and a teenage, and on an average day have a dozen people coming in and out of my house.

  Never get mad at my husband – I’ll make this resolution if he resolves to never make me mad

 Always be patient –Even when a child pees on my floor, colors on my walls, or a teen misses the “basket” with the Dr Pepper can, then leaves the trash on the floor

Keep the car clean – I can’t make this on for the shear selfishness of it - what would my husband do for fun on the weekends if I did?

  Get more sleep –I could drug Kymee, shut down the teens gaming system, and kick the newborn living with us to the street

Have more facebook friends – seriously, I have no time to keep up with my current friends, why do 
I care what people I knew 30 years ago are doing? (No offense current “old” friends – you’re the ones who made the cut)

Have more time to myself -
Should have thought of this one when we were almost empty nesters
and decided to adopt a baby

So much for resolutions I won’t make. So what is my resolution?

In 2014 I resolve . . . not to resolve.

I am a planner. I love to plan everything to a tee. I set goals, schedules and plan accordingly. I have a list of long term, short term and immediate goals. Then God messes them up. He never allows me to stay in my box. So often he has greater things in store for me than I could even imagine. If 2013 taught me anything it was that sometime the interruption is more important than the goal down the road. I don’t regret a minute of the time I changed my plans to sit with my Mami while she was dying. I don’t regret the counseling thrown into our schedule, but not planned for.

So this year, I’ll make plans. I’ll follow them until God tells me otherwise – but I resolve to day by day be open to whatever He wants me to do, and be willing to change direction whenever He calls me to do so. I resolve to wake up every day and say, “God what do you have in store for me today?” And if I don’t hear back from Him, I go about my plans – which have been prayed over as well.

   I resolve to stop cleaning my house if a “chatty” friend stops by to talk about her troubled child – and just sit and listen.

I resolve to  stop mid-sentence and pray when led by the Holy Spirit

I resolve to stop “schooling” if a friend or family member is in need of help – this is a much greater lesson than math anyway.

 I resolve to stop watching my favorite TV show when my husband calls from a business trip

I resolve – Not to resolve what God wants me to do, but to be open, waiting and willing for Him to lead me daily into the unknown.